Week 12 - Check-in

Better late than never! I read Chapter 12, I thought about it a lot, I related to much of it -- just seems like my time hasn't been my own to do this final step -- or my time was my own and I decided to utilize it differently. But because I want to continue with the next book, Walking in This World, I have to bring closure to TAW -- cause I'm compulsive that way. :-) I do relate to Julia's comments on resistance to our creativity being a form of self-destruction. I'm often my own worst enemy and put more roadblocks in my way than anyone else possibly could. I can relate to depression being a form of resistance - I mope, I worry, I obsess, I do almost anything to avoid actually starting my creative process - not always, but frequently. I find that morning pages are a good method for me to work through some of the creative ideas that run through my head. I've particularly found them useful on the journal quilt challenge this year. The picture of the box with the picture of the Geisha on it was my inspiration for my February piece. Since it has taken me almost 2 weeks to do my check-in on this chapter, I'll confess I did morning pages 4 out of 7 days last week, this week I haven't done them at all. Still, I do find them valuable and I'm sure that I'll push myself to pick up my pencil and get started again soon. They're good for jotting down a tiny idea, a passing thought, that somewhere along the way seems to become an idea for a piece that actually comes to completion.

The trip back in time to Week 1 and it's core negative beliefs re-enforces some of what I said above -- When I'm blocked in an area of my life, I feel safer that way - and my fear of creativity is fear of the unknown. I don't know what the reaction to a particular piece will be, so it's easier to not start it or procrastinate on finishing it than to get it done and out there in the public forum for comment. Or I don't see the whole picture on an endeavor, so it's easier to take no steps than it is to start taking small steps and work out the details on the big picture as I go. I'm hoping that recognizing this will enable me to push beyond it.

Last week I didn't have much of an artist's date. This week I went to a Bonnie Raitt concert -- by myself and it was fun. My former boss Rob (I'm going to have to learn to call him "my friend" Rob now, instead of my boss) is working in downtown Phoenix now, so I met him for a drink and dinner after work, then I went on to the concert. She performed at the Dodge Theatre - small venue, had a good seat, really enjoyed watching the crowd -- pretty diverse group of people, fun to watch. The musician who opened for her wasn't my cup of tea - nor was he the cup of tea for a lot of the crowd it seemed -- Irishman named Paul Brady, who Bonnie has written some songs with -- alone, his music was more ballad-like and didn't seem to be an appropriate lead in to her music. During her set, he came out and they sang a couple of the songs that they had collaborated -- Luck of the Draw was one -- and I liked him better then. Her set was lively and fun, two long encores - really got my money's worth. And she said she may be back late summer, with Keb Mo who I think will be a much more harmonious collaboration.